The camera that I was given was a Super 8 video camera my immediate thoughts once I touched the camera was instant happiness that the day had finally came when I’d be able to have some hands on experience with such an authentic camera. The whole moment felt so surreal just being given the opportunity to tell my mothers story was indescribable. Before I started filming I felt very nervous you know just some self doubts that came along the way but they all got reassured with the guidance and visit of Jazmine Garcia she came to speak to us a couple weeks before we got the cameras and she gave us all advice that projects, films even photos don’t always come out exactly how you want them to but that’s just the process and in the end it all comes out the way it’s meant to. Once all those feelings went away all I was left with was pure excitement on bringing my mother’s story to life. I felt very inspired by all the amazing things I learned about my own mother during a recorded conversation we had prior. At the beginning I somewhat did have a vision of what I wanted to shoot and it was just small moments that happen on an everyday basis that no one else would really think about capturing but me because looking back I really treasure them. For example a shot I’ve had in mind since the get go was videotaping my mother walking my siblings back home from school because they both hold her hands the whole way just talking about each others days I find it very beautiful. The rest that I filmed was just things that caught my eyes or I came up with on the spot.
What I shot was small moments during a small Mother’s Day Comida we were having at my house. I also shot my siblings because in the interview my mom does speak about her kids so I thought it would be a great visual not have. I shot roses and many flowers my mother’s car just to capture my mother’s energy and environment she spends a lot of time in her car going back and forth from work, home, my siblings school. I also shot my living room because theirs many portraits and images hanged up of family members. Some technical problems I faced would be getting the camera to focus but that I overcame with patience. Another problem I encountered was not technical I was the amount of over excitement I was feeling that my eyes would not allow me to properly look into a shot it was my first time ever using a camera but after some time I got use to it and relaxed my eyes much more than usual. At first when I was experiencing all those minor problems I felt a bit frustrated and afraid that the whole experience was gonna be that way but once I overcame them and became way more comfortable with then camera I was ready to shoot anything that came my way. How I knew I got a good shot was when I went about it in a way I knew it’d pair up great with the audio but also their was shots when I’d just let them come to me their was also some that I directed and told the subjects to move a certain way or use props as well. As I was shooting my mother my perspective on her did change in the aspect that I tried to capture the youthful soul that was still living within her and her positive outlook on life even though life has not treated her the best she is still hopeful.
My thoughts now that the filming process is over are that it was a beautiful learning experience and it went exactly the way it was supposed to. The way I feel as I wait for the film to develop is CRAZY excitement I honestly can’t wait till I actually get to see what got done and learn from it so I know what to do differently or the same next time. My perspective on myself as an artist and film maker has changed in the way that I learned and now know to always trust myself and know that it all takes time and that after some practice we will all get better. My major lessons and take aways would be patience is key and to allow shots to come to you because those might just be the best ones ever.